The Pics

In Memory of Erika Lynn Kapneck

Mike’s sister / my wife Erika was born Erika Lynn Kapneck, April 6, 1967 in Washington DC to Philip Kapneck, a native Washingtonian and Rosina Kapneck, originally from the small village of Frat in Southern Germany. Erika grew up in Montgomery County Maryland and graduated from Thomas Wooton high school as well as Montgomery College where she earned a degree. She was a cosmetologist by profession and even opened and operated her own in-home, hair salon. But these accomplishments don’t even begin to tell the story of the kind of person she was. Erika was a kind, compassionate woman with a very unique blend of giftings which the Lord blessed her with. She had very good organizational skills and an incredible legal mind that was sharp as a tack with great presentation skills to boot. Even seasoned attorneys who heard her argue some of the pro se legal cases she was involved in, were astounded at how well she did with absolutely no law school whatsoever.   

Although Erika was a bold and fierce “lioness” when it came to matters of justice and advocating for her family, what those who knew her well remember the most about her was the incredible sensitivity, love and appreciation that she showed towards others; often showering them with love and compliments. Whenever there were Congregational events or other “get togethers”, Erika was always the “Mommy” that was concerned about the needs of others. “Are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Can I get you anything? Oh hi, I love what you’re wearing!”  She also felt very connected to not just her immediate family but Aunts, Uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. Erika loved her German Tante’s Otti and Erna (Tante is Aunt in German) and was very close with her cousins Robert, Cornelia and Monica. Erika loved children in general and greatly enjoyed teaching children in Shabbat school at the Congregation but she especially loved her two nieces, Brooke and Avery and her nephew Mikey as if they were her own children.  She always looked forward to seeing them and spending time with them.  

Shortly after me and Erika were married, Erika began to reconnect with some of her relatives in Germany. Although her Tante Otti (pronounced oatee) couldn’t speak English, Erika sharpened up her German which she had learned as a child and began to call Otti on a regular basis. Always close with her cousin Monica who lives here in the U.S., she also reconnected with her cousins Robert and Koni (pronounced Connie) who live in Germany. She especially loved talking and corresponding with Koni who was about the same age as Erika.  

Erika was greatly loved by my large family and enjoyed the relationships she had with my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews as well as the myriad of my Aunts, Uncles, cousins and their children as well. She talked to my father David Winkler frequently whom she affectionately called; “Davy Dad” as he became like a surrogate father to her since Erika’s father estranged himself from her and her siblings when they were young. But she especially loved her immediate family and was the closest with them.  Always concerned for the needs of her mother and siblings, she was a strong advocate for them her entire life. As Erika’s young siblings Mike and his sister Bianca will attest, she became like a mother to them when their mother was not able to care for them at times and in certain ways remained so, for many years even after they grew up. 

Erika also looked after her mother and her older disabled brother, always making sure they were both safe and had what they needed. This formed an incredibly strong bond between all of them and a unique relationship that Erika enjoyed with each one of them individually. But whether it was caring and advocating for her family or taking up a just cause, Erika had a fiery passion to always do what was right and hold others accountable to do the same.  

Erika’s profession was a hair stylist and she greatly enjoyed the artistic side of the hair business. But what she loved most of all was exceeding her clients’ expectations which she did ALL the time. After years of a successful career with several upscale hair salons, Erika decided to take the fiercely loyal cliental she had built, and start her own holistic, organic hair salon out of our home. When she went to the City of Rockville to obtain a simple home business license for her in-home salon, she was stunned to learn that whereas every other kind of home based business was allowed, hair was not. After she did some research and dug deep into City records (which Erika was very good at), she discovered that the reason a home-based hair business was not allowed was because many years prior a former City planner who was also an anti-Semite, used a ridiculous loop hole in the law to shut down his Jewish neighbor’s home based hair business.  

So what did Erika do? Like any good Jewish activist she took on City Hall! In addition to working very hard to obtain pages of signatures for her petition, Erika also prepared a legal brief and organized some notable Rockville residents, including the Jewish couple who this injustice had been done to 20 years earlier; she invited them to come and speak for a full blown presentation to the City Council – which they did. When Erika did her presentation, then council member John Hall, who is also an attorney, said her legal brief was as good, if not better, than the plethora of briefs constantly presented to the Council by numerous high powered attorneys for large corporations seeking one thing or another from the Council. Despite the Mayor and one council member’s best “elitist” efforts to stop her, the council voted 3 to 2 in favor of Erika. This was but one of many examples of the excellence and passion Erika pursued life with. 

Another one of Erika’s artistic passions was dance. She loved ballet and Davidic worship dance. For years Erika loved to participate in the Davidic dance that is a regular part of our worship during Shabbat service at our Congregation. Even after she was diagnosed with cancer, Erika still pursued her passion for dancing and even took ballet lessons.  

And if that wasn’t enough, in 2008 Erika decided that she really needed a pet to keep her company while I was at work all day. Erika of course, never did anything halfway. Rather than get some low maintenance mutt who wouldn’t present a challenge (no offense to anyone reading this who owns a mixed breed) Erika adopted her favorite breed – a Siberian Husky. Now those of you reading this who either own a Siberian or have ever owned one probably know what I’m going to say. But for those who don’t know, Siberian Huskies are a much more difficult breed to own because they behave a lot more like their ancient ancestor the wolf than any other breed. Growing up, Erika owned two of them so she was thrilled when I found one from a dog rescue organization. What neither Erika nor I realized when we brought our new dog Reaux (pronounced Roo) home, were all of the issues it had from the previous owner. Needless to say, Erika worked with our dog until she absolutely bonded with Erika and became like her child. 

We eventually added another Siberian which also bonded with her. Siberians require a lot of training which Erika loved to do and since we had no children, Erika was highly motivated to take extra good care of them. She loved spending time with them, grooming them, walking them and especially liked what her I called “snack time” when we would use snacks to train them.           

But there was one thing at the core of Erika’s life which motivated her more than anything else. That was of course was her faith in Jesus the Messiah. With a Jewish father and Gentile mother, Erika was raised both Jewish and Catholic and attended both Hebrew school and the Catholic Church. Erika first prayed to receive the Lord into her heart at the age of 13 when, at a sleep over with some Baptist girlfriends, they invited her to pray with them to receive the Messiah. Thank God for the Baptists! Like so many of us, Erika strayed away from her faith in her teen years and got into partying until, at the age of 18, she realized her desperate need for the savior and surrendered her life to Jesus. A couple of years later Erika was amazed to discover that there were actually Jews who also believed that Jesus is the Messiah and had not forsaken their Jewish roots. It was at a local Messianic Congregation that Erika eventually found not only the Jewish expression of her faith in Jesus, but was also where me and Erika met and eventually got married in 1998.   

I can attest that Erika’s faith was the most important thing in her life. She believed that the Bible – both the Hebrew scriptures, also known as the Old Testament as well as the New Testament – both of which are the very Word of God. And when it came to very black and white issues regarding the Gospel and what would determine a person’s eternal destination, Erika had an unshakeable faith and very strong convictions. Undeterred by today’s political correctness regarding religion, She simply believed exactly what Jesus said when He told His disciples; “I am the way the truth and the life, no man can come unto the Father except through me” as well as what Paul the Apostle said to Timothy that “there is only one mediator between God and man, Jesus the Messiah”. Erika – like the Apostle Paul – was not ashamed of the Gospel for she believed just as Paul did that it “is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Gentile”.  

As a Jewish believer in Jesus, Erika was unapologetic that Jesus is the Jewish Messiah. I remember one particular week that started with Erika’s curiosity about traditional Judaism and ended with Erika debating two Rabbis over the phone and receiving an invitation from a third ultra-orthodox Rabbi’s wife for me and Erika to come to their home for Shabbat dinner LOL. One of the Rabbis she debated over the phone was a prominent Chabad Lubavitch Rabbi in the Washington area. When he realized she was Messianic he scolded her and said that she wasn’t Jewish and was “unlearned” about these things because she didn’t know or understand orthodox Judaism. Undeterred by this accusation, she respectfully assured him that according to the Hebrew scriptures she was authentically Jewish and that the scriptures were quite sufficient in educating any Jew as to who the Jewish Messiah is.  

As you read this account of Erika’s life today, whether you are Jewish or not, the most important thing Erika would want you to take away from her story is that God loves you passionately and sent His son to die for you. Jesus Himself summed this up this way in a scripture which you’ve probably heard before;

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved” John 3:16

In fact, before she passed Erika specifically asked me to make sure that this message – the message of the Gospel – would be shared at her funeral because that was what she wanted more than anything else. Nobody knew Erika as well as me and Erika’s siblings especially, including of course, her younger brother Mike. This is of course why Erika’s brother Mike asked me to post this tribute to her. He understands just as I do that if Erika were still with us here on this earth today, she would plead with you to consider not just the eternal consequences of rejecting Jesus but the eternal life that Yeshua / Jesus offers you now, today. When Erika prayed to receive Jesus many years ago, she received a deposit or a down payment of that eternal life, the same life she is experiencing now in its fullness. She is now standing before the very throne of God beholding His Glory, Majesty and Splendor.  It may be cliché but it is oh so true – she is in a much better place now because it’s not just “a place” – it’s heaven!

So how about you? That tug you feel on your heart isn’t limited to just a nice story about a well-deserved tribute, to Mike’s sister Erika. That tug is in fact the Holy Spirit lovingly and patiently pointing you to Jesus. ONLY Jesus can save you – your own best efforts or searching through other religions, self-help concepts etc., cannot remove that 500lb burden of sin you’re dragging around with you everywhere. Jesus Christ’s supreme sacrifice on the cross / His resurrection from the dead is THE MOST powerful act in history for one reason; it broke the power of sin over our lives. His death on the cross and His resurrection are FOR YOU – if you were THE ONLY person that needed salvation, He would have come to this earth and died for you. But God will not force anyone to receive it. We all must repent and believe – put our faith and trust in Christ and what He did on the cross to save us and when we do, our sins are cleansed and we are FULLY forgiven. 

When Erika’s time came she was fully ready to meet her maker as she had already repented of her sins and put her faith and trust in Christ to save her. She instantly passed from this life into heaven and a joy which cannot be described in any earthly terms. Throughout most of her life here on earth, Erika had a deposit of that same joy which was Jesus Himself living on the inside of her. He’s the same Jesus who lives in Erika’s brother Mike’s heart and in my heart and in the hearts of millions of those who have invited Him in.  

Jesus says to you; “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with Me” – Revelation 3:20

So how about it? Jesus is knocking at the door of your heart. He won’t force His way in. He’s waiting for you to repent of your sins and ask Him to come into your heart. Don’t wait! There’s always a temptation to put it off and say “well, I’ll serve God one day, but I want to party and have a good time now”. Dear one, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Any of us could die at any moment and without Christ you’ll spend eternity separated from God in horrible darkness with no escape, no way out. 

Some of you reading this want to give your heart to Jesus but you are saying to yourself; “but I’m not good enough” or “you don’t know the sins I’ve committed in this life” or “let me first get myself straightened out because God helps those who help themselves”. 

The truth is that Jesus died to help those who can’t help themselves

Regardless of where you’re at in life or what you’re struggling with, pray this prayer right now; “Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins and I open my heart to you. I believe that you died for me and rose from the grave. I now ask you to come into my heart and live inside me. Thank you for shedding your blood on the cross. I believe that your blood cleanses my sins and I commit my life 100% to following you. Thank you Jesus, for saving me!” 

If you prayed this prayer, please send us a message and let us know so we can pray for you. 

Blessings, Steve Winkler